Did I resurrect my blog just so I’d have a place to write longform content about The White Lotus? You bet I did. If there is one thing I fucking love it’s solving a mystery. Get your Aperol Spritzes ready bitches, it’s time to investigate.
Here’s what we know to be true. A minimum of three people die, but it could be more (and likely is). We know this because we see one body of a guest who “drowns” and “a few” more guests “were killed,” according to Rocco. We know Rocco, Valentina, and Daphne are all safe (at least in the beginning of the end). This is if we choose to believe the opening flash forward. I do because it’s the same formula from the first season, so I don’t see any reason to believe it’s going to turn into an unreliable narrator or dream sequence situation.
Here’s what I think is going to go down in the finale:
Daphne kills Cam.
They desperately want us to think Ethan is going to snap and kill Cam, but I think it’s Daphne. They’ve also positioned Daphne as innocent from the start because she finds the first dead body in the water. We see her running into the arms of a hot dude in trendy boyshorts. They want us to think that’s Cam. But is it? Probably not.
She also makes a strong point to talk to the two girls in the beginning, perhaps to establish an alibi because she just committed a crime? (Fun fact: those girls are from Mike White’s season of Survivor. This is SUCH A GOOD EASTER EGG bc the White Lotus has us guessing who’s going to make it off the island, too.)
Daphne has a seemingly sweet disposition, but I know better. There’s a reason this girl can’t keep female friendships. She also clearly loves her trainer (aka her kids’ real baby daddy) more than Cam. To me, she seems like a girl who hitched her wagon to Cam because he has money, but the writing on the wall says he’s in financial trouble. (The workplace legal issues they mention, the fact he stiffed Lucia the money, Cam desperately trying to get Ethan to sign him as his finance guy, etc.). Plus, he cheats on her all the time and is super angry and seems to be an all-around bad dude. Hot yes, but not good husband material. I would imagine Daphne agrees with me especially if his money is gone.
I’ve seen so many breakdowns noting that the cherubs next to Megan Fahey’s title card in the opening sequence are meant to represent her kids. Maybe. Or maybe the two mischievous creatures symbolize the two-faced nature of a shady bitch about to kill her husband. She’s able to very calmly rationalize what she needs to do to feel better whenever Cam does something shitty… and his shitty behavior keeps escalating.
Plus, when I asked my tarot cards who died, the first one I pulled was the King of Pentacles reversed, a card that symbolizes a wealth-obsessed man who is also financially inept. More on my tarot obsession and how it’s useful when analyzing the White Lotus later.
And if I’m wrong about it being Daphne, I still think Cam dies. The only thing that makes me doubt it is that the rich white dude typically doesn’t lose in the world of the White Lotus. Then again, I don’t think he’s as rich as he wants us to believe.
Greg is the floater.
Or maybe it’s Portia?! I keep going back and forth on exactly who it is, but I feel strongly that the dead body we see in the water is from Tanya’s storyline. I really don’t want it to be Tanya herself, but a lot of foreshadowing also points to Tanya’s suicide (like the tarot card reading and the Madame Butterfly references).
Because I want Jennifer Coolidge to party in Japan next season, let’s review my first theory: Greg. The cheating Cowboy thing aside, any guy who shames you for eating macaroons and drinking Champagne on vacation is a villain and deserves to die.
I think Tanya uses hottie coke dealer’s gun to shoot Greg for trying to frame her to null the prenup and take her money, also for being gay, lying, ruining her life and Monica Vitti moment, yada yada. He either falls off the cliff or they dump him in the water from the yacht.
BUT Rocco specifically says the dead body in the water drowned… so that person wasn’t shot. And Checkhov’s gun has to be used at the palazzo or coked-out Tanya (my favorite kind of Tanya) wouldn’t have mentioned it at the party. Right?
So, if the floating corpse isn’t Greg, my next guess is Portia. Jack is supposed to keep her away from Greg and the high-end gays and probably kill her she’s a witness. (Which is also why Greg was so pissed she was there to begin with.) So maybe in her attempt to get back to Tanya, something goes down with Jack and she ends up sleeping with the fishes. In the first episode, Portia has white birds on her vest in episode one. Albie says he’s attracted to “pretty wounded birds.” After we see the floater, it zooms in on a white bird flying away. So, maybe it’s Portia even though I want it to be Greg.
We’ll see a minimum of one dead DiGrasso.
Grandpa is a goner. I think his fall and subsequent concussion are foreshadowing, but his death can’t be that simple. Rocco specifically says more “were killed” which makes me think that it had to have been either a freak accident or something more sinister. Old man dying in his sleep because of a head injury doesn’t fit the bill. Grandpa DiGrasso comments a lot about starting fires in early episodes and we see the hotel literally on fire in the opening sequence. So, maybe there’s something there even if he doesn’t literally light the whole hotel on fire.
In related news, Lucia is definitely playing everyone, not just Albie. Alessio is clearly not Lucia’s pimp, but I think she’s scheming him as hard as the DiGrassos. She’s fairly new to sex work and we know she found Dom online. Alessio could be a relative… and I wonder if he thinks he’s saving her from the DiGrassos as much as they think they’re saving her from him. Sure, he could be in on it, but then she’d have to split the money with him. Doesn’t seem like her vibe.
I thought that one or more of the DiGrassos might kill Alessio, but Rocco specifically says it’s “guests” found dead at the hotel.
Now that brings me to Daddy DiGrasso aka Christafuh. Dom most closely mirrors the Testa di Moro legend of the cheater who comes to town, fucks up a local girl’s life and ends up beheaded. Does his son have something to do with it because he discovers they’re eskimo brothers?
LAURA FUCKING DERN will appear next season, maybe sooner.
Laura Dern is the voice of Dom’s wife. Why have a small voice cameo from an icon like her if she’s not going to show up later? Maybe she has to come to Italy because shit goes down with her sweet son… or she has to heal at a White Lotus in Asia next season following whatever happens to him.
I could literally keep going, but I’m going to hit publish before the show starts. Arrivederci, darlings!